Who Are You Without The Title?
Who Are You Without the Title?
Rethinking Identity in Trauma-Informed Leadership
By Krista Fee | RISEUP Voices From the Frontlines: Trauma-Informed Leadership Series
I’m Krista Fee, founder of the RISEUP Phoenix Trauma and Crisis Institute. Through my work with first responders, executives, educators, and survivors, I’ve learned one truth that rarely gets discussed: leadership identity is fragile when it’s tied solely to a title.
Your badge. Your rank. Your office door with your name on it. That title you’ve worked so hard to earn. What happens when it’s gone?
That’s the question at the heart of trauma-informed leadership, and it’s one that every leader, whether in government, nonprofit work, business, or family life, must wrestle with. Because titles end. The real question is: who are you without the title?
The Retired General Who Felt Lost
I once sat with a retired general who had commanded troops, lived with authority, and carried the respect that comes with decades of service. When the uniform came off, though, he struggled. He told me quietly, “I don’t know who I am anymore. Out there, I was General. In here, I’m just… a man in a quiet house.”
His story is not unique. Psychologists refer to this as role-identity foreclosure, where your sense of self is so tightly tied to a role that losing it feels like losing yourself. Many military veterans, first responders, executives, and pastors face this same identity crisis when the role ends.
Role Identity vs. Core Identity
Here’s the crucial distinction:
Role Identity = What you do. Your job, your rank, your title.
Core Identity = Who you are. Your values, your character, your essence.
When leaders confuse the two, their leadership becomes fragile. When they separate them, resilience grows. Because titles can be stripped away—but core identity, rooted in values, cannot be taken unless you hand it over.
Why the Brain Grips Titles So Tightly
From a neuroscience perspective, identity is deeply tied to safety.
Our brains are constantly scanning for a sense of belonging: Who am I? Where do I fit? What role do I play in this tribe? Titles provide quick answers. But when they vanish, the nervous system flares with disorientation, even grief. That’s why career loss or retirement often feels like a death. In some ways, it is, the death of a role mistaken for self. Trauma-informed leadership calls us to anchor identity deeper than titles, into purpose, values, and truth.
Lessons From Washington and Mandela
George Washington could have been king. After the Revolutionary War, many urged him to seize absolute power. Instead, he walked away and returned to his farm. His identity wasn’t defined by his title; it was shaped by his values: service, integrity, and democracy. That’s why his leadership still echoes centuries later.
Nelson Mandela offers another perspective. After 27 years in prison, he could have emerged bitter, defining himself only by what had been done to him. Instead, he chose reconciliation, grounding his identity in justice and dignity rather than revenge. His leadership legacy wasn’t a role; it was a compass.
A Firefighter’s Painful Lesson
I once worked with a firefighter who was forced into early retirement due to an injury. His grief was palpable. “I’m nothing if I’m not a firefighter,” he said. However, through therapy and reflection, he discovered that his courage, service, and sense of brotherhood were integral to his essence, not just his role. Eventually, he began mentoring young recruits, telling me, “Being a firefighter was how I expressed my identity. But it wasn’t my identity itself.” That shift didn’t erase his pain, but it saved him.
When Leaders Lose Themselves
We’ve all seen it:
The officer who can’t retire because he doesn’t know himself without the badge.
The CEO who spirals when she’s no longer “the boss.”
The pastor who burns out because his worth was tied to the pulpit.
When identity collapses into title, leaders not only lose themselves, but they also destabilize their communities. Insecure leaders grasp for validation instead of leading from a grounded identity.
My Own Struggle With Identity
I’ve wrestled with this myself. There were seasons when my entire sense of self was tied to achievements, recognition, and the platforms I stood on. There is a reason I have multiple degrees and over 100 certifications. When we lean too hard into prestige as an identity, the need to be "the best" or to build "credibility" becomes a false north star, a treadmill of procrastination grounded in imposter syndrome.
When those shifted, I felt unmoored. Who was I without the academic applause? Who was I without the pursuit of titles?
The hard truth I had to face was this: if my worth depended on applause, it would crumble. But if it was anchored in values, resilience, and integrity, it could withstand any storm.
Practical Steps for Anchoring in Core Identity
So how do leaders reclaim identity beyond titles?
Name Your Values. Write down the principles that define you: integrity, compassion, courage, and justice.
Notice Your Attachments. Pay attention to the panic that rises when you imagine losing a role. That’s where healing is needed.
Practice Role-Shedding. Intentionally spend time in spaces where no one knows your title. Who are you then?
Anchor in Purpose. Purpose goes deeper than position. Ask: “What am I here to give the world?”
Invite Honest Reflection. Ask trusted people: “Who am I when the title is gone?”
The good news? The brain is plastic. You can retrain your nervous system to anchor worth in values rather than roles. It feels disorienting at first, but over time, it builds resilience that titles can’t shake.
Reflection Questions for Leaders
Who am I if the badge, rank, or title were to disappear tomorrow?
Where do I confuse what I do with who I am?
What values or truths can anchor me deeper than roles?
Closing: The Compass Beyond the Crown
Titles end. Roles change. Badges fade. But your values endure.
If your leadership is built only on titles, it will collapse when they’re gone. But if your identity is grounded in purpose, values, and integrity, your leadership becomes unshakable.
So I leave you with this question: Who are you without the title? Because when you can answer that, you’ve found your compass—and that compass will carry you through every storm.
At RISEUP Phoenix, we equip leaders, organizations, and communities to adopt trauma-informed leadership grounded in values, healing, and resilience. If this message resonates with you, share it with others, join the series, pre-order the book, or schedule a custom training for your organization.
Together, we can raise leaders who know who they are—not just what they’re called.
