The Compass of Leadership: Why Self Awareness Must Come First
The Compass of Leadership: Why Self-Awareness Must Come First
By Krista Fee | RISEUP Voices From the Frontlines: Trauma-Informed Leadership Series
Leadership is one of the most overused and misunderstood words in our culture today. We plaster it on résumés, job descriptions, and LinkedIn headlines. But beneath all the noise, one truth remains: leadership begins not with titles, but with responsibility. And responsibility begins with self-awareness.
As the founder of RISEUP Phoenix Trauma and Crisis Institute, my work is rooted in trauma-informed leadership. I’ve seen firsthand that the leaders who create safety and transformation aren’t always the loudest in the room. They’re the ones who have learned to regulate themselves, to see their own blind spots, and to understand the impact of their presence on others. That journey starts with the first compass point: self-awareness.
The Officer Who Didn’t Know His Impact
Several years ago, I worked with a police officer who believed he was approachable. He often joked, used sarcasm, and believed it made him relatable to his team. But when I spoke with his colleagues, I heard a different story: “We never know what mood he’ll be in. His sarcasm cuts. We feel like we’re walking on eggshells.”
When I brought this feedback to him, he was stunned. “That’s not who I am,” he said.
And I replied, “It may not be who you think you are, but it’s how people experience you.”
That moment is a mirror for all of us. Leadership isn’t about our intentions. It’s about our impact. Self-awareness is the bridge that connects the two.
What Is Self-Awareness in Leadership?
Self-awareness has two critical dimensions:
Internal Awareness — knowing your emotions, values, triggers, strengths, and blind spots.
External Awareness — understanding how your words, tone, and presence are experienced by others.
Research shows that while 95% of people self-report they believe they are self-aware, only about 10–15% actually are. That means the majority of leaders are walking into rooms and making decisions with blind spots they don’t even realize exist.
Trauma-informed leadership demands that we close this gap. Because people don’t respond to your intentions, they respond to your impact.
The Neuroscience of Awareness
This isn’t just philosophy. Self-awareness changes the brain.
The amygdala, the brain’s alarm center, reacts instantly to threats, real or perceived. Without awareness, leaders get hijacked by this process. That’s why they snap, avoid conflict, or shut down.
Self-awareness activates the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for pausing, evaluating, and making intentional choices. In other words, awareness rewires us to respond instead of react.
In trauma-informed leadership, regulation is a form of leadership. And regulation begins with awareness.
Lessons From History and Today
Even history’s great leaders understood the cost and necessity of awareness.
Abraham Lincoln struggled with what he called “the melancholy,” likely depression. Instead of hiding it, he acknowledged it and surrounded himself with advisors who challenged him. His willingness to see his own vulnerabilities made him wiser and ultimately steadier in guiding a fractured nation through civil war.
More recently, I worked with a surgeon whose team dreaded entering his operating room. His short temper and dismissive comments left people in tears. When he finally listened to their feedback, he broke down in realization: “I thought I was being efficient. I didn’t realize I was destroying people.”
Through coaching, he slowed down, softened his tone, and checked in with his team. Over time, the entire culture of the OR shifted. One leader’s self-awareness changed the nervous system of an entire team.
My Own Awakening
I’ve had to face these mirrors too. In my own leadership, there have been moments when urgency turned into pressure, or passion into intensity that unsettled people.
The most challenging aspect of awareness is seeing yourself clearly. It’s humbling. But it’s also empowering. Once you notice, you gain the power to choose differently.
Self-awareness isn’t about perfection. It’s about owning your presence and aligning it with your values, especially when it comes at a cost.
Building Self-Awareness: Tools for Leaders
Here are practices I use and recommend:
Slow Down — busyness kills awareness. Create pauses in your day.
Seek Honest Feedback — not from flatterers, but from those who will tell you the truth.
Track Your Triggers — patterns reveal where growth is needed.
Reflect Daily — journaling or even one simple question: “How did I show up today?”
Check Your Body — Notice physical signals, such as tension, shallow breathing, or exhaustion. They are awareness cues.
These practices aren’t complicated. But they are powerful.
Questions for Reflection
What emotions or patterns show up most often in my leadership?
How might others experience me differently than I intend?
Where do I need to pause long enough to notice what’s happening inside me?
The First Compass Point
Leadership doesn’t begin with charisma, strategy, or vision. It begins with self-awareness. Without it, we lead blind. With it, we lead true.
When you take responsibility for others, you also take on the responsibility to know yourself. Because leadership isn’t about the crown. It’s about the compass, and awareness is the first point.
If this resonates with you, I invite you to continue this journey through the Trauma-Informed Leadership Series. Together, we can raise leaders who don’t just hold positions, but who carry responsibility with clarity, humility, and resilience.
