Fire as Teacher: Rising Differently
Fire as Teacher: Rising Differently
Why resilience isn’t about bouncing back, but about transformation through the fire
By Krista Fee, Founder of the RISEUP Phoenix Trauma and Crisis Institute
I’m Krista Fee, and my mission is to equip leaders, organizations, and communities with trauma-informed tools that create safety, resilience, and transformation. I write and speak about leadership not as theory, but as lived reality, because I’ve seen firsthand the cost of burnout, betrayal, and collapse, and I’ve also witnessed how integrity and resilience can rebuild trust and ignite movements.
This article expands on Episode 14 of the RISEUP Voices From the Frontlines podcast, where I explored resilience not as endless grit, but as a transformative process. Because the truth is this: fire always leaves its mark. The question is whether it consumes us or teaches us.
Fire Always Leaves Its Mark
The phoenix does not rise from the fire untouched. The flames don’t politely pass it by. They burn it down to ash. And only then does it rise, not the same, but different.
This is the real story of resilience for leaders. It is not about going back to who you were before the crisis. It is about allowing the fire to strip away illusions, deepen your compassion, and reorient your mission.
The Paramedic Who Couldn’t Go Back
A paramedic once told me about the first time he lost a child on a call. He said, “I couldn’t unsee it. I couldn’t just go back to who I was before. That version of me was gone.”
At first, he tried to bury it. He told himself resilience meant just keep going. But it nearly hollowed him out. Only through therapy and peer support did he learn that resilience wasn’t about pretending nothing had changed. It was about allowing loss to teach him compassion, to deepen his presence with families, and to shift how he showed up in the world.
He didn’t rise the same. He rose differently. And that difference became his strength.
Neuroscience: Fire and the Nervous System
The nervous system is not designed for endless survival mode. Chronic stress hijacks empathy, narrows perception, and corrodes trust. Leaders who grind without renewal don’t become strong; they become brittle, and eventually, they break down.
The hopeful part? The brain is plastic. Post-traumatic growth research indicates that through reflection, support, and meaning-making, the brain can undergo a process of rewiring. Leaders can move from hypervigilance to regulation, from despair to clarity, from avoidance to courage. The fire literally reshapes us neurologically, and the work is guiding that reshaping toward growth.
Lessons From History
Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison. He could have emerged embittered, bent on vengeance. Instead, he allowed the fire of prison to refine him into a man patient enough, and visionary enough, to hold a fractured nation together. The fire didn’t leave him unchanged; it made him the leader South Africa needed.
By contrast, history is filled with leaders who allowed fire to consume instead of teach. Betrayal hardened them into suspicion. Public humiliation drove them into obsessive control. Loss fueled them into rage that corroded entire systems. Fire is neutral; it will burn either way. What matters is whether you use it to refine or devour.
My Own Ashes
I’ve had my own seasons of ashes as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, a long list of personal and professional traumatic experiences, and moments when betrayal or loss stripped me bare. For a long time, I thought resilience meant bouncing back, hiding the pain, pretending the flames hadn’t touched me. But that version of me was gone.
Only when I accepted the ashes did I find deeper compassion, sharper clarity, and unexpected courage. The fire didn’t just break me; it revealed what I was made of, and it taught me.
Practices for Leaders in the Fire
So how can leaders let fire be a teacher instead of a tyrant?
Pause in the ashes. Don’t rush to rebuild. Sit with the loss long enough to learn from it.
Seek meaning, not just survival. Ask: What is this fire teaching me?
Lean on the community. Isolation calcifies pain; community metabolizes it into growth.
Integrate the shadow. Face grief, anger, and bitterness rather than denying them.
Rise different. Accept that transformation, not going back to what was, is the goal.
A Teacher’s Story
I met a teacher who lost her husband suddenly. For a year, she said, “I was ashes. I couldn’t imagine standing in front of students again.”
But when she returned, she shared pieces of her story with her students, not to burden them, but to model authenticity. “I’m not the teacher I was before,” she told me. “But I think I’m a better one. The fire broke me open, and now I teach with a compassion I didn’t know before.”
Her students learned more than academics. They learned resilience.
Practical Takeaways
Fire is inevitable; it always leaves its mark.
Resilience is not about bouncing back; it is about rising differently.
Trauma-informed leadership embraces fire as a teacher, not a tyrant.
Communities and teams thrive when leaders integrate their scars rather than hide them.
Final Reflection
If you are in the fire right now, know this: you are not failing because it hurts. You are being invited to rise differently. That difference may become your greatest gift to those you lead.
Call to Action
🔥 Ready to explore how resilience and trauma-informed leadership can transform your organization?
👉Book a call with me here to discuss your leadership journey or schedule a custom training series.
And don’t miss the chance to join the Trauma-Informed Leadership Course and Community a space where we bring together neuroscience, practical strategies, and lived experience to equip leaders like you to rise stronger.
