We Don't Rise in Crisis-We Fall to Our Training: Building Confident Kids Through Rehearsed Safety
We Don’t Rise in Crisis—We Fall to Our Training
Building Confident Kids through Rehearsed Safety
By: Krista Fee M.A.
If the alarm goes off—literally or metaphorically—your child won’t suddenly become calm and collected.
They’ll default to what they’ve practiced.
Not what you told them. Not what they saw on TV. Not what they rehearsed once five months ago and never again.
What they know. What lives in their body.
That’s why we don’t just talk about safety—we train for it.
Because in crisis, we don’t rise to the occasion. We fall to the level of our training.
And kids? They fall even faster.
💡 Why Rehearsal Matters
From a brain science perspective, high-stress situations activate the amygdala—the brain’s emergency broadcast system—and suppress access to the prefrontal cortex, which handles logic, language, and planning.
This is even more pronounced in kids because their brains are still developing. Their ability to make smart decisions in crisis depends on how often they’ve rehearsed the right responses in calm, safe conditions.
This is not about overloading children with what-if scenarios. It’s about empowering them with options they’ve experienced through muscle memory and embodied play.
🎯 Tactical KidSAFE Tools
1. The Fire Drill Frame-Up
Every home should have a fire plan. Not just a conversation—a physical, playful, repeated rehearsal.
Teach:
Low and go
Meet-up spots
How to identify safe adults
Then walk it. Crawl it. Time it. Praise it.
2. Grocery Store Separation Game
Turn it into an adventure: "If we get separated, who do you look for? What do you say? What’s our code word?"
Practice letting them find help (with you watching from a distance). Normalize making a plan before you enter any new space.
3. Co-Regulation = Safety Blueprint
Your nervous system is their anchor.
When you role-play calmly, narrate your actions, and stay regulated—even in pretend drills—you teach them that safety feels like connection.
Try this: "Let’s practice together. You can do it scared. I’ll be with you the whole time."
4. Language Shift: Empowerment Over Fear
Avoid fear-based phrases like "Stranger danger."
Instead say: "We always check with our safe adult before going anywhere." "If you need help, look for a grown-up with kids, or someone in a uniform."
5. Play to Train
Kids learn through repetition and story. Make preparedness feel like an adventure.
Try:
Obstacle course fire drills
Role-play finding exits in public spaces
Safe adult spotting game
Code word scavenger hunts
🧠 What Preparedness Builds
Kids who know what to do don’t freeze as easily.
They may still be scared—but fear doesn’t own them. Training gives them a blueprint. And when practiced in co-regulation with a calm adult, it becomes not just a response—but an embodied skill.
Prepared kids are:
More confident
Less anxious
More likely to seek safe help
More adaptable in unfamiliar situations
This is how we raise children who feel powerful in the face of uncertainty.
Not because they were told to be brave.
Because they were trained to respond.
❤️ Final Thought
Preparedness is love.
When we train our kids calmly, consistently, and playfully—we’re not just teaching them how to escape a fire or ask for help in a store.
We’re teaching them that they can do hard things. That they can stay connected in chaos. That safety lives in their body.
And that’s what KidSAFE™ is all about.
Let’s raise kids who don’t just survive the unknown. Let’s raise kids who know how to meet it head-on—with courage, clarity, and a calm body trained to act.
Because when the moment comes—they won’t rise. They’ll fall to their training.
Let’s make that fall strong.
Schedule Your Free Consultation with Krista and get on the waitlist for the KidSAFE Building Blocks Community.
Listen to the RISEUP Voices From the Frontlines Podcast for more KidSAFE Building Blocks
